Thursday, November 24, 2022

 

I know. It has been a very long time since I touched base, and I'm so sorry. Life can sometimes create speed bumps for us to get over just when we believe everything is fine. These are the natural stressors in life that get thrown in our path just when we think things are smooth as silk. But, as I've learned, life isn't always fair. And it isn't supposed to be.

I learned from a very young age never to trust how things look, but to learn from how things really are. In other words, I expected the worst so I could be pleasantly surprised by the best. It's a natural defense mechanism, not a healthy one, but it's worked for me. Honestly, it's given me a tremendous amount of material for my fiction work. But that mindset can be more damaging than you realize.

In the past couple of years, we've endured a lot of change, turmoil, and issues we never thought we'd ever have to face. Things happen, yes. Without the right armory to deal with it, though, we feel similar to how Captain America felt during the final battle scene before his troops arrived (I am a Marvel geek.). A person can only be so strong for so long before they have nothing left to fight back...that's where I was. How could I inspire others when my own world was consuming me to a depth I'd never been prepared to? How on earth could I give others hope, when mine was being pecked away? 

Then I realized that in order to feel hope, we need to be given it in some small way. Having a child whose needs mean more than anything else on this planet and our presence is all they need?

Hope.

Being told you are a "medical mystery" as you endure one medical condition after another, and no top-notch specialist can conclude why? Yet...you continue to survive and shouldn't?

Hope.

Living with an invisible condition deep inside of you that you fight every single day, but are judged for the symptoms others can see?

Hope.

We are all stronger than we believe we are. It just takes that one source of strength to guide us through the darkness to lead us to where we are supposed to be.

I am back. And our focus on the blog will be changing over the next while.

Be strong. Be you. Be an ever-lasting footprint in our world.


Sunday, November 7, 2021

5 Good Things

 


Well starting this week, my kids are going to take turns for Sunday posting days. This could be fun and exciting. And here we go:

This week has had its up and downs, but there were definitely good parts to it!
  1. Tuesday- during lunch at school two of my friends and I had so much fun, we walked around the school talking to all of the kids, some teachers too, and we all sat together in the back of the class laughing our heads off at jokes that weren't even funny.
  2. Friday - after school I hung out with some of my friends and we just walked around the school doing dumb things and laughing. And then I met up with my cousin and a few of her friends and we all walked to Circle K and got Polar Ice Pops (I think that's what they are called?) we all had a good time, and I finally got to meet the friends my cousin always talks about.
  3. Also Friday - My sister, who lives downtown, came to visit me, and we went for a long walk, we got to enjoy nature and the nice weather. And when we got back home we had to go drive and pick up my other sister, which was fun. We haven't all been together in a very long time so it was nice to catch up. Also, I love going for nighttime drives, especially downtown. Something about driving while the dark sky gets taken over by all the lights from the apartments and buildings downtown while music blasts on the radio are so comforting.
  4. Sunday - My brother and I hung out with my dad today, celebrating my brother's birthday. We went to Gateway and we played pool! I'm not very good, but it was still so much fun to be with them and to get out of the house. To be honest, none of us are very good (don't tell my brother I said that).
  5. Also Sunday - After we played pool, we all sat down with my stepmom and enjoyed some delicious tacos and cupcakes for dessert. It was nice talking to my stepmom, as I only see her once every couple of weeks. It's always fun eating dinner at their house because everyone always has such fun stories to tell.
I hope you all had a good week! - one of the four

Sunday, September 19, 2021

5 Good Things

 


We need more positive stuff out there. Finding something good in each day (even on the crappiest of days) can brighten things up. So our Sunday segment will be a shout-out to good things. I even made it easy by thinking of only five enlightening things that happened over the past week.

That's five.

5.

Ready? Here's my top 5:

1) I was overwhelmingly tired and cranky last weekend. Let's just say that if I could have stayed in the fetal position in my onesie, covers hiked up to my ears, avoiding everything and everyone in the universe, that would have been peachy. Of course, that's unacceptable behavior for a mom so I just duked it out with the day, praying for bedtime. As I made dinner, the date caught my eye then it hit me like a tornado: it was 3-year anniversary of my favorite uncle's death. I can't explain our relationship right now or how much he meant to me but his death left a massive hole that I still have no idea how to fill. But this year...I began an acceptance. I put a picture of him and me on my work desk, some of his ashes my aunt gave me are in a beautiful music box on the bookshelf he gave me and I wrote a story about him. See, the ashes part may seem gross to some of you but he promised to always be there to watch over me and that he'd kick me in the rear when I wavered. I guess that's what happened. I still miss him so much but I can accept that he'll never leave me.

2) I signed a contract with a new publisher for my Watcher series. It's exciting to focus on writing again.

3) I got an 88% on my Psychology quiz. Not too shabby.

4) I had a good health week. My nutritionist is proud, my liver enzymes are high, but not as bad as usual (little high five), and I've made sure to get a bit of a walk in every day.

5) I am most proud of my one kiddo who hasn't had the easiest time this year but makes the brave effort to conquer each day as best as they can - no matter the hurdle. If that doesn't define inspiration, I really don't have clue what does.

What are your 5 good things?

Monday, September 13, 2021

Music Mantra Monday - Beginning Again w/Beatles (Blackbird)


It's been a while, hasn't it?

I can't give apologies for being absent for so long.

Not this time.

Every one of us has...stuff that we have to deal with on a daily basis. Some of us may be dealing with the same stuff but how each of us handles, copes, and deals with it is very different. That stuff can get piled up pretty high but, for the most part, most of us can restructure those piles into more doable bumps and keep going. But what happens when an event so big, bigger than those piles that already exist, comes along to rip apart what has been, until that point, manageable? I compare the feeling to an invisible force throwing a massive, whirling machete into the situation, mixing it up with the stuff that already exists with giant salad tongs then devilishly grins, saying, "Deal with that and still maintain that illusion of strength." 

I couldn't.

Now that doesn't mean I curled up into the fetal position and gave up (not that I didn't consider that from time to time). It means that I had to let many bumps go unattended for a while as I put my entire focus on another pile I hadn't realized I'd mislabeled as "manageable - until needed". It took that machete mix to make me see the one pile that needed me more than any of the other ones combined. And so, that's what I did.

After a six-month hiatus, I think I have learned how to better manage my bumps and piles of stuff. I've mulched some over, re-prioritized others but did it all in such a way that that main focus is still in my sight so I never lose it again. And I left that machete right there to remind me it'd have no problem bringing me back to what is truly most important.

Basically, the point of my very vague post is this: Life is hard. It was never meant to be easy or we'd never learn to appreciate the good nor deal with the bad appropriately. The most important lesson I've learned is to manage those piles of stuff as best as you can. Do constant inventory to weed through what still needs to be there, recycle/compost was doesn't, and always be wary not to mislabel something as "until needed" as that may be the one pile of stuff that requires the most love, attention, and nurturing.

Happy rest of your day!

PS: Blackbird is the one song that always comes to me in times of uncertainty. For some reason I'll never understand, when I hear it everywhere I go, there's something...someone...I need to take better care of.

Monday, November 23, 2020

Music Mantra Monday - I'm Happy




Welcome to our first Music Mantra Monday we've had for quite some time. Like many of you out there, I've had to put a lot of things on the back burner while trying to sort life out around Covid. I think we were all doing pretty well around here until I got sent home on Friday to work from home until further notice. Now we have to re-work everything we finally had a routine for...again. I have a feeling this won't be the first time we'll have to re-prioritize.

But...life goes one, doesn't it?

When this all first started, it was a terrifying thing not knowing or understanding what we're up against. But like with everything I've been through in my life, I take everything thrown at me head-on. You simply deal with life the best you can and cope with any curve balls - and there are always curveballs - using the coping skills God gave you. 

My grandfather was right when he told me life was hard. It can bring you to your knees where you feel as though you can't breathe or go on. Those moments, though, are what help you appreciate all the good that is to come. And that's what I hold on to every single day.

Technically, I shouldn't still be here. A couple of years ago, I came way too close to comfort to succumbing to advanced liver disease. Now, whenever life kicks me in the shins, I think of how close I came to never being able to have another chance and it's what keeps me moving forward.

So our song for today is to remind you that even though times may be scary, overwhelming, or uncertain there is happiness too that guides us to go on.

Be safe and healthy my friends.

Video trailer for BLACKBIRD FLIES!


Video Trailor for JUST SHUT UP and DRIVE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRr-vJ8W7YA