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Monday, January 7, 2019
Music Mantra Monday ~ Don't Let Me Down
Welcome back to our first Music Mantra segment of 2019! I hope that everyone's Holidays were happy, blissful and restful. God knows that many of us truly needed that time.
As we're getting back into the swing of things around here, I can already feel that this year will be much better than the one we just said goodbye to. I won't lie to you. We've had a few hiccups to face already, but I am a bit stronger to face things this time around. And I have no fear in doing all that is within my power to do to set things for each member of my little crew on a better path.
The reason I chose today's song (besides it being a Beatles song...duh!) is that the title of the song and most of its lyrics are reminiscent of my goals this year. To understand where I'm coming from, you'll have to temporarily overlook that the song is obviously about Yoko and/or Linda. :)
To be blunt, last year was pretty much a living nightmare. Yes, there were glimmers of good and happiness but, man. By the end of the year, I was at the point where I wanted to scream out, "I know God only puts what He knows we can handle on our shoulders at a given time, but seriously. Just how big and strong does he think mine are?" I'm used to living in chaos and, normally, I can get through it all eventually with a heck of a lot of adrenaline. But because I was also going through my own personal struggles, which I kept shoving aside for the other stuff that needed my attention, the chaos became too much.
I started turning a blind eye to situations or people's actions that negatively impacted my little crew where I'd normally just jump right in there and nip things the bud. The major problem with 'turning a blind eye' to situations or issues that need immediate attention is that just because you don't deal with or talk about them doesn't mean they simply go away. Those situations or issues are still right there but they grow because no one is dealing with them appropriately. Believe me when I say there is a huge difference between temporarily keeping your mouth shut about something then dealing with it later when the waters are calmer, and just grinning and bearing it (aka: 'turning a blind eye'). I could go deeper on this, but I won't right now.
All I'll add here is that while my kids each made up their excellent and achievable resolutions, I've made a promise to myself not to allow things to fall as hard as I did last year. It really means that I have to give sight back to that blind eye and remove anything or anyone who expects one. It also means I need to accept that there are a few things I have absolutely no power over, but I can cope with those things as best I can. And, finally, it means that next to my health, my children are the most important thing in my life so I have to take steps each day to solidify their future...while I can. And, frankly, if there is anyone who doesn't agree with how or why I do things from this point on, or doesn't at least try to understand why those blind eyes just can't be there anymore, screw them.
So, essentially, my song choice isn't directed at anyone else specifically. I guess, in a way, I'm aiming it at myself. If I don't take care of me first (health-wise) and stay on track, how will I ever be able to truly be there for my children? And the only person who has the power to change me, and what I want for me and my children, is...well...me.
'Don't let me down, Chynna. You're finally doing what you gotta.'
Enjoy the rest of your Monday!