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Monday, January 13, 2020
Music Mantra Monday ~ Stalking Is Dangerous...Even In Music Form
In keeping with our focus of this month's theme, I wanted to share a few thoughts of another way a stalker can get close to their victim without actually getting close: through music.
It stinks for me to believe that one of my favorite and most beloved forms of creativity and relaxation can be used as a tool to harass, scare or further stalk another person. Of course, we have all heard songs that talk about it, or have heard "song battles" between different artists but it is truly terrifying when a victim knows a song was written, or at least chosen to represent, what a stalker is feeling.
This was one of the most popular songs in the '80's and I am in no way saying that Sting was a stalker. But listen to these lyrics. I mean, really listen to them. I'm not sure if he wrote this based on personal experience, from something he came across or, maybe, doesn't even have a clue how the song could be taken. All I know is when I was about 13, a guy about five years older than me not only sang this song to me every time he saw me, but requested it. Back then, too young to truly understand, it took many years to understand this same guy ended up almost everywhere I was. He knew who my friends were and where we all lived. He even knew where my grandparents lived, where I went to school and the times I left to go and when I got off. He finally backed off when he started dating someone his own age (poor girl). I just wrote it off as him being a weirdo.
A few years later, the song came on the radio and I started singing along. After a few lines, my entire body exploded in goosebumps. He wasn't just a weirdo, he was stalking me! And the thought that an eighteen-year-old would have that sort of obsessive focus on someone five years younger than he was made me nauseous.
All I'm trying to say is that today, there are many ways in which a stalker can approach his victim without ever having to physically touch them. There are actually laws against cyber and social stalking today. Start talking to your children about this issue as early as possible, obviously using age-appropriate wording so as not to instill fear.
Sting? I admire you as a talented artist and loyal family man. It doesn't even matter the reasoning behind you writing this song. For all your listeners know, you were thinking of your wife in a sweet way. But from another perspective, I'm grateful for these lyrics as they give a very eye-opening view into the world of stalking. These are some of the words victims hear and tremble in fear. They also give us insight into what stalkers truly believe and don't see as wrong.