Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Wednesday Writing Sample - Passing Loop (WIP)

Welcome today's writing sample.

I am happy to say that I've finally been able to sit down and work on my own stuff, around all the proofreading and editing I've been doing. I have to say, it feels very good to be back in the swing of things, even if it's starting off a bit slower than I usually do.

Today's sample comes from my YA (WIP) Passing Loop. It is the story of three generations of women who are reunited in a time of tremendous tragedy. But, you all know me. I add a bit of humor and a few other tidbits so it's not entirely depressing. lol

So far, I believe I have shared samples that introduce my main character, Chrissella (a 17-year old who is forced to move across the country with her mom to care for the grandmother she never knew...and she's not happy about it) as well as Enya, her mother. Today, I am going to give you some insight into Lily Gran, Enya's mother. She's a feisty older woman not impressed to be slowed down by a broken hip. And this is the beginning of one relationship that is on repair and the other that is starting to develop. This scene also hints to further plot twists. ;)

Enjoy! And feel free to share your thoughts.

As she sat back down, Lily Gran said, “Well, that wasn’t too hard now, was it? I’ll bet we even cured your boredom.”
“Oh, I’m not bored at all now, thanks.”
Gran’s lips stretched into a slight smile. “Biscuit? They’re shortbread fingers.”
“No, thanks,” Chrissella said. “I’m more of a chocolate chip cookie kinda girl. Besides, I seem to have lost my appetite.”
“Hm. It would appear that we are opposites on a lot of things,” Lily Gran said, biting the corner off of her cookie. “Ah, well. Your loss. More for the rest of us.” She motioned to her daughter. “Enya, would you be so kind as to pour us all some tea before it gets too cold to drink?”
“Sure, Ma.” Enya got up to fulfill the request, and she lost her footing.
“Mom, are you okay?” Chrissella reached across the table to catch her.
Her mom stuck her hand up and said, “Sure, sure, baby girl. Just got up too fast is all.” She shook her head, then grabbed the tea pot. “Room for milk, Ma?”
Lily Gran eyed her daughter, expressionless. “Always. Say, there. You seem on the gaunt side. Be sure to have a few shortbreads. Or make yourself a sandwich. You never did eat enough to feed a bird.”
“It’s fine. I can wait until suppertime,” Enya said as she filled Chrissella’s cup.
“Mom, you haven’t eaten since—”
Her mother shot her an icy stare. “Chrissy, I said I can wait. Just stop, please?”
Lily Gran scooped several teaspoonfuls of sugar into her tea, then reached for the tiny pitcher of milk. “Not unusual, from what I remember. Had to force you to eat even as a gaffer. Not sure how we even kept you alive, most days.”
“Enough, already,” Enya said sternly as she filled her own cup. “I’ll eat later. Let’s move on, shall we?”
The clock ticked the seconds away. Lily Gran’s spoon slowly clinked and clanked against the sides of her cup as she stirred. Crissella fiddled with the handle on her tea cup.
Wow, she thought. There’s less tension in a prison shower room.
Finally, Gran broke the silence. “How was the trip out?”
“Not bad,” Enya said, blowing into her cup. “The plane ride was quicker than I thought it would be, and the car ride was, thankfully, uneventful.”
“More like painfully uneventful.”
“Well, I told you to bring a book to read or something.”
“I can’t read in the car. I always puke. You know that.”
“You could have slept.”
“It was a little hard to sleep with the lovely ‘eau de poop’ scent wafting around the car, and Mr. Cash crooning away.”
Lily Gran cleared her throat. “I didn’t realize we had a princess in our mix. Perhaps next time we can get the driver to pick you up in our limo. Lord knows you should always have every luxury when traveling across the flatlands.”
Chrissella noticed her mother trying to repress a smile, and she glared. “Hey, look. I’m no princess. I just—”
“…have been coddled your whole life and expect the same everywhere you go? Well, we’ll change that attitude here and now.” Gran brushed the cookie crumbs from her fingers, then locked eyes with Chrissella. “Did ya have a chance to look around when you were coming in town? Only real people living here. We’re a community. Unlike the big city, we look out for our neighbors and no one person is better than the next. Act like a city princess here, and you’ll be put in your place soon enough.”
“Oh, come on, Mom. I certainly never coddled Chrissy. She’s stronger than you think. She’s also stubborn, sarcastic, pig-headed and never afraid of speaking her mind or giving her opinion, whether you want it or not. Gee…she sort of reminds me of someone…”
Chrisella waved her hand. “Excuse me. Sitting right here. You know I friggen hate it when you talk about me right in front of me, like I’m not even here.”
“And that’s another thing,” Gran said, slurping her last bit of tea. “One more curse word out of you and I’ll shove a bar of soap in there so deep you’ll be burping bubbles for a week.”
I’d like to see you try, old lady. “I didn’t actually swear but fine. I ‘get’ it, okay?”
Lily Gran reached over and grabbed Chrissella’s forearm faster than the she thought a lady her grandmother’s age could move. “Let’s make something crystal clear, little miss. Your mother is here because some stupid doctor in the city feels I need a bit of help around the acreage. Maybe that’s true, but it doesn’t make me very happy. The only reason you are here is because you are with her. This is my house. I have very few rules, but they are set in stone and will be followed. Otherwise you will have your bags thrown out in the field and be sent on the next bus to the boarding school up north. Now you stuff that attitude of yours gut deep or I’ll allow mine to surface and you do not want that.”
Chrissella yanked her arm from her grandmother’s grip and slumped back in her chair. She rubbed where Gran had gripped her arm, angry tears pooling in her lower lids, her heart pounding.
Cheesus Murphy. If she’s repressing her attitude, I’d better take up Muay Thai to defend myself.

“Okay,” she whispered. “Sorry.”

Lily Gran shot a quick glance at Enya, who chewed on her lip. “Alright, then. Grab your bags and I’ll show you to your rooms.”

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